There is no highway to Hell...

It's all two-lane roads.

Since I wasn't otherwise employed (or employed at all at that point) my friend Lisa L and I decided to visit Hell, Michigan for their Hell Day Party on June 6, 2006. Big, clear pictures are from her camera. The smaller, poorer quality pictures are from my cell phone.

We almost drove on through - the place was packed! Who knew that so many people would be interested in spending the day (or even part of it) in a tiny, hard-to-reach town with a population of 74 souls? Fortunately my parking karma was in, and we found a parking space about half a block from the "center" of town (two shops and a restaurant/bar).

I have never seen so many bikers in one place at one time. They were, for the most part, wonderfully courteous and well-behaved. In fact, the entire crowd, whose activity consisted mostly of standing in the hot sun developing sunburns (burning in Hell), was friendly and polite. So... I guess people waiting in Hell are nice. It makes me wonder what kind of folks I'd find waiting in Heaven...

We waited in line for about two hours to buy some Devil Duckies, a couple of items for use as presents and some of the best tasting ice cream I've ever had. Actually, I'm not sure it was all that great, but after two hours in the sun with no water, it was fabulous. (I read later that they were giving out water, but we missed that somehow.) We also got certificates that we had been in Hell on 6/6/06 (which I'll put here if I ever get around to scanning it). They had run out of the commemorative t-shirts in black, but I haven't given up hope that they'll make more. They had absolutely no idea this would be so huge. According to the Detroit News, over 10,000 people attended throughout the day. The owner of Screams (whose idea this was) was fined for not obtaining a permit for gatherings of over 500 people. He expressed insincere regret that they'd all made so much money.

News Links

• Hot Time Had in Hell (Toledo Blade)
• Hamlet sells ice cream, t-shirts like the devil (Ann Arbor News)
• 6-6-06 People Party in Hell (Tampa Bay 10 - video)
• 666 (Making Light)

Creepy Clyde, The Country Vampire provided musical entertainment (www.creepyclyde.com - but be warned, this crashes both Firefox and IE every time I open it). He had a DVD (House on Haunted Hill, with horror-host additions) and a CD (Spooky Town, containing such priceless gems as "The Carp That Ate Detroit", "A Monster Lives Under My Bed" and "The Old Man From Kalamazoo". It was $10 for the pair, so I bought them. I've listened to and enjoyed the CD, but haven't gotten around to the movie yet. He was so happy to sell a DVD/CD pair that he hugged me and said "Bless You!".

Of course, a "Devil's Day" event could never be complete without the presence of those who live to tell the rest of us that we're damned. I have to admire their dedication. It was hot, and no one was listening to them. Most people just ignored their cries of "You may think this is funny now, but it won't be when you're really burning in Hell!". A few (very few) heckled them, and a few others (notably the nice woman in line ahead of me) engaged with them, giving them a chance to have their say. At one point a biker on a bright red bike (rear fender cut out to look like a devil's tail) kicked up a huge cloud of rubber smoke and dirt, but other than that it was a pretty uneventful protest.

My favorite part of the protest, though, was when the Michigan Athiests showed up. This, I think, is what makes America great. Freedom of speech, freedom of assembly - freedom to be as wrong-headed as you want, as long as you're not hurting anyone. I used the Motivator motivational poster generator to make a poster commemmorating it.



All in all I had a Hell of a good time. Lisa and I plan to back and have dinner at the Dam Site Inn, as we hear the food is devilishly good.