Warm Fuzzies

I got the nicest warm fuzzy from my boss yesterday...

On his way out of town for a conference, he left off a card for "Administrative Professionals Day" (yet another Hallmark Holiday^TM). It says: "To the truly amazing... from the truly amazed". It's really fabulous to have a job where you're appreciated to this degree.

I'm almost to the end of my six-month new employee probation, and I don't have any concern at all that I won't pass. My team leader gives me warm fuzzies, and my office supervisor has repeatedly pronounced herself to be very satisfied.

I haven't posted in a while because March was a very, very bad health month. I started by tripping over the edge of a sidewalk and face-planting full-length on the concrete. It took a week or so for the fallout to hit, but it ended up throwing my back out badly enough to kick me to pain level 9 (cannot sustain a train of thought, whimpering, can't sleep, etc.). This forced me to finally choose a medical provider, which has led to a lengthy series of tests and treatments for the various things that have been lurking untreated for the last six years. I'm sorry to say that they didn't do anything at all for the back pain (not even pain medication) for several days, and when they finally prescribed something, it was the mildest possible pain reliever and didn't do much to help. I may end up changing providers...

The pain was unbearable, so I got a recommendation for a chiropractor. Wow. It's my first experience with chiropractic, and it's somewhat expensive (I paid a year in advance), but my back/neck/etc. complex feels better than it ever has. Ever.

At the same time, I developed a vile cough, which rapidly turned into a nasty upper respiratory bug. Usually these things start in the head and move to my chest -- this one started in my chest as full-blown bronchitis. There's nothing quite to compare with a body-wracking cough when your back is already out... Four people in my office got the bug, and it went on for weeks. One of the other symptoms was bone-deep exhaustion, so I pretty much missed the entire month of March. The last weekend of March, I actually canceled a sold-out Call of Cthulhu game I was scheduled to run and skipped the home game that night. I've run with pneumonia in the past - to cancel a game for the club is an indicator of being really, really sick. I probably should have gone to the hospital, but six years without health insurance have conditioned me to just go to bed when I'm really sick and hope that I won't die.

Now I'm down to my spring allergy cough (and am seeing an allergist/taking new medications), and I not only think I will live, but I want to live! There were stretches of time during March where all I wanted was no more pain or coughing.

As I told them at the office, Perky Jae is back!

It is a radical act to be fat and happy

Working for the Michigan Nutrition Network, I find myself surrounded by the social attitude regarding obesity. Not that my co-workers treat me badly, but there's this focus on "curing obesity" that is like a high-pitched whine in the background. Not debilitating, but irritating.

I spoke up today, asking that they all consider "fit at any size" rather than "don't be fat" as a message. I thought that they were receptive, so maybe I've done a little good. To be fair, most of the material is focused on proper nutrition and adequate exercise, which is important and useful no matter what your weight or body type.

I need to quote from Shakespeare's Sister, a feminist blog that I read daily. This really nails it...

It remains a radical act to be fat and happy in America, especially if you’re a woman (for whom “jolly” fatness isn’t an option). If you’re fat, you’re not only meant to be unhappy, but deeply ashamed of yourself, projecting at all times an apologetic nature, indicative of your everlasting remorse for having wrought your monstrous self upon the world. You are certainly not meant to be bold, or assertive, or confident—and should you manage to overcome the constant drumbeat of messages that you are ugly and unsexy and have earned equally society’s disdain and your own self-hatred, should you forget your place and walk into the world one day with your head held high, you are to be reminded by the cow-calls and contemptuous looks of perfect strangers that you are not supposed to have self-esteem; you don’t deserve it. Being publicly fat and happy is hard; being publicly, shamelessly, unshakably fat and happy is an act of both will and bravery.

I certainly feel the societally required self-loathing. If someone is ever attracted to me, I'll probably miss the signals, because no one could be attracted to someone as old and fat as I am. Everything I see and hear reminds me.

On Being a Secretary

For most of my adult life I was very career focused. I wanted interesting work, but I also wanted the money and the status. I wanted to be able to call myself a professional. My father was a doctor, my mother a nurse and my brother also a doctor - even as a Network Administrator I was pretty much a tradesman or technician to them.

Now, though, I've turned away from that. Six years of under-employment have taught me humility. The least pleasant thing I've done to keep a roof over my head was telemarketing, and everything else gets measured by that yardstick - is it as bad as telemarketing? No? Well, okay then.

I'm enjoying the tasks that go with my new job, but I can see the time when I might be a little embarrassed to tell people that I'm "just" a secretary. On the drive in to work, though, I heard this piece on NPR's Morning Edition. The essay, part of the This I Believe series, is by a programmer-turned-secretary, and she expresses a lot of my feelings on the matter. Go listen to it or read it - it's good stuff.

I'll take being a secretary and feeling good about myself over IT and an ulcer any day.

So far, Fabulous!

I was job-hunting for six years. For large portions of that time I wasn't hunting very hard, because I had temp work and job hunting is hard, and even harder on the ego (all that rejection). I'd reached the point of desperation, where I would have taken any old job just to get a steady income, and get back onto campus.

Fortune, however, smiled on me. I didn't get just any job, but one that I can love. I'm a secretary, but also part of a team that's defining itself, which means that I can stretch and grow in a lot of directions. Our team leader (Paul) and my supervisor (Lori) have been gracious and welcoming, and are full of confidence that I will be able to do everything they need, when they need it, and exceed expectations. It's a really nice, warm, fuzzy feeling.

I managed to pull a couple of hat-tricks last week (one by sheer luck and fast thinking, the other by technological mastery), so I'm looking pretty good. More importantly, I'm feeling pretty good about myself. It almost makes me uncomfortable - it's such an unfamiliar feeling.

And then there's the MSU Dairy Store right downstairs... I've managed to limit myself to one scoop a day, but I'm going to need to cut back if I want to keep my weight and blood sugar under control.

I'm actually looking forward to getting up and going to work in the morning!

I Got A Job!

Wait, let me give that the font size it deserves...

I GOT A JOB!

I start Monday Oct 30th at the department of Family & Consumer Sciences at Michigan State University. Almost six years to the day after I left (in one of the worst examples of poor timing in history). The job is grant based, so it'll be renewed a year at a time, but I intend to make myself so utterly indispensable that they'll find a way to keep me. My office will be just upstairs from the MSU Dairy Store, so I'll have to work on the old willpower to only go down for ice cream once or twice a week.

The pay rate is decent, it's full time and my benefits will start in November. I couldn't be happier. Lori, the office manager who will be my boss, stressed that they chose me because of my vibrant, entertaining personality (as opposed to instead of it). I find that a particularly encouraging sign.

So... I'm off to go do my awkward but enthusiastic happy dance.

I've got a job!

Retaining Hope

It gets harder and harder to keep my spirits up and keep on plugging. I had two job interviews this week, along with another for a short-term editing job for the end of October. I heard back on the first job - the one where I had a really good feeling coming out of the interview.

They chose someone else. They always choose someone else. It gets discouraging.

I didn't feel nearly as confident about the second interview, though I'll probably nail the editing job. That one is only about 40 hours, though, and not until the end of October.

At least my doctor friend has PCs that need attention, which will help me a little financially.

Off to go search the internet for more jobs to apply for...

Jobhunting - The Beat Goes On

I had an interview at the University yesterday that went very well, though I don't know that they'll hire me, for fear I'll terrify one of the more timid staff members. If I get it, I'd start next week. It's only 90%, but that's better than 0% and comes with benefits, and I really liked the people I interviewed with.

I have a different interview on Wednesday, and put in a few more applications yesterday.

Current status: unemployed, but doing some consulting to help a friend and provide a little bridge funding.

Employment Update

No news is... well... no news.

I've been working as a temp since early July (back with MSU Office Services after a 7 month drought). I figure I have another week, maybe two before I work myself out of a job again. Data entry is incredibly boring, but it's money, and I was fresh out of that. I listen to podcasts all day long while updating records - it could be so much worse. Telemarketing, for example.

I get interviews periodically, even second interviews. But not the job. I don't know why, and even if I did, I have reservations about trying to change my presentation. I mean... is it doing anyone a service to pretend to be something I'm not? They're only going to find out eventually, after all, and being fired is worse to me than not being hired.

I have been working on volunteering less information, though. It still feels dishonest, but on the other hand, do they really need to know everything? Especially the things they don't ask?

One friend has suggested that I apply using my birth name instead of my nickname, because I am all over the Internet, most of it related to my roleplaying hobby. She thinks that may be a reason I'm not getting hired.

What I want to know (rhetorically) is... doesn't anyone hire imperfect people any more? I mean, ye gods and little fishies, are there so many perfect people on the job market that those of us who are old, or fat, or not quite normal can't get a job?

Job Hunting: Update

Well, it wasn't as good as being offered a job, but I have a second interview tomorrow at noon. Here's hoping...

Job Hunting - Cautiously Optimistic

I've heard back on the first two interviews, and I'm zero for two. I'm disappointed about the Resource Center, because I really thought it would be a good fit for me, and visa versa. I'm not surprised about College of Ed. While the interview went well, I got a vibe that the director I'd have been working for was not particularly comfortable with me. No worries - you can't be a great fit with everyone. Being down two of the three made me more anxious when I went to the third, though.

I interviewed Monday at the College of Veterinary Medicine (secretary for two assistant deans). Good interview, nice guys, and a shared passion for coffee. No clear vibe. I applied for a couple more jobs and already know I didn't make the interview list for one. Bad news, but a nice feature of the new HR application manager.

Today I went out with friends to see The Libertine, and when we got back after dinner sixish, there was a call from Vet Med on the machine. It was a noncommittal "Please call me as soon as you can", and I shrugged it off and settled down to run my Chill game. Sometime into the game it struck me - if they were calling to tell me they'd chosen someone else, they would probably have just left that as a message. They generally want to talk to you directly to offer you the job! Or, maybe they have some additional questions... but I am cautiously optimistic.

I've set my alarm for 8:05 and will call first thing to see what's up. I hope I'll have good news to report.

The Employment Shuffle

Things have finally been looking up on the job front. I'm still unemployed, but I reworked my resume just in time for the University to set up a new, very convenient application system. I've had two interviews in the past couple of weeks, and have another on Monday. I applied for two more jobs today. I must have about 15 applications in, and common wisdom indicates that three interviews is a pretty good return rate. I apply for 2-5 or so every week. All I really want out of life any more is a day job with health insurance.

I'm looking for secretarial or clerical work, because my IT skills are too rusty to sell, and my last IT job darned near killed me anyways. I type 70 words a minute, and Microsoft Office is my bitch. Ditto Outlook, WordPerfect Office, etc. I wrote the Counseling Center's client tracking system in Access and I'm pretty sure I haven't forgotten that yet. I'm a dynamite editor, write good manuals and am willing to do pretty much any work that's not illegal (or telemarketing). I'm personable, I have good references and I make a fantastic cup of coffee. What's not to love?

I really want the first job I interviewed for, but won't know till next week at the earliest. It would include web work, editing, document creation and would put me in a position to help make life a little better for college kids under a lot of stress. I hope I get it.

I've already heard that they chose someone else for the second job, but I'm okay with that. I had a sense that it was a good interview, but I wasn't as good a fit as one of their other candidates. It only takes one job to settle me, after all. I did have the best interview question ever, though. With a perfectly straight face he asked me: "What would you do if I gave you a camel?"

"I'd have to take it to the zoo. We have a nice zoo here, and I live in a condo. Too cramped for a camel, and the cats would complain."

He said the idea behind the question was to see how people did at thinking on their feet. He said most people just locked up. I thought it was pretty funny.

Monday I interview at the Vet Clinic, again for a secretarial job.

As long as the interviews keep up and I get a job reasonably soon, my spirits are good.

Bookin'

In the eternal quest to make ends meet while earning about poverty level, I've taken a part-time job at Phonebank Systems answering calls for various public TV stations around the country. In between pledge breaks I've been catching up on a lot of reading.


I just finished the "March to the Stars", the latest in the David Weber/John Ringo "March Upcountry" series, and found it to be riveting enough that I found myself reading till late into the night. The characters are engaging and I'm kept anxiously waiting for the next disaster to strike Prince Roger and his rapidly shrinking battalion of marine bodyguards. Baen Books, the publisher, has a nifty program going on -- they put select volumes, unabridged, on the web for free download. In this case, you can download "The March Upcountry" (the first in the series) as an Ebook. (I read it on my Handpring Treo.) I think the idea is you try the series, and if you like it they figure you'll buy the books. And if I weren't so flat broke, I would. Meantime, I rely on the good offices of the East Lansing Public library and my good friend Craig Norman (evil, evil boy -- he's gotten me hooked on several Baen series now!).